Could wanking off save the world? As in … create energy, reduce dirty utility use, and put penises in the forefront of saving the planet?
Yes, now we’ve heard everything.
This news has come to us: PornHub, a pornographic video sharing website and the largest pornography site on the internet, wants to “turn masturbation into energy in a bid to save the planet.”
How would this come to something, you ask?
“Every day, millions of hours of adult content are consumed online, wasting energy in the process and hurting the environment,” the porn site recently opined on a dedicated website, according to the UK’s Independent. “At Pornhub we decided to do something about it. Introducing The Wankband: The first wearable tech that allows you to love the planet by loving yourself.”
Apparently, PornHub entertains an estimated 41 million people each day. The company, according to the story, thinks it would be a good idea “to channel all that furious fapping into something more useful than brief, boredom-relieving ecstasy.”
Reportedly, the Wankband creates power when moved in an up and down motion, with a kinetic charger inside storing energy generated. Then, the band can be connected via USB to smartphones, tablets and computers, powering them with 100 percent sustainable energy.
“This is not the first time the site has dipped into conservation in a bid to clean up its reputation, having previously promised to plant a new tree for every 100 videos watched on its site,” noted the Independent. “PornHub is trying to de-stigmatise the viewing of pornography, and recently started advertising out in the real world using SFW billboards.”
What a business opportunity for teenage boys throughout the world! Why mow lawns or deliver newspapers when you can operate a cell phone charging service?